Just because breastfeeding is natural, doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Breastfeeding was one of the hardest, emotional and draining ‘natural’ things for me when I entered the world of motherhood.
I told myself when I was pregnant that I wanted to breastfeed, but if I couldn’t do it, I was fine with bringing in the bottle. But once I was there, struggling and at the edge of an emotional breakdown, the decision did not come so easily.
In fact, it was an incredibly hard and difficult decision.The first time he had a bottle, I cried. I made it to 3 months, and felt like I had failed. It was irrational, I know, but that’s the thing about motherly emotions, they are rarely rational. They are full of love, hope, determination and a crazy, overwhelming urge to do the best of everything possible for your baby.
I made it to 5 months with my second. I keep saying 'made it', because it was a constant battle for me. Physically, emotionally, mentally.
I felt enormous pressure (mostly from myself) to be able to provide for my baby. Despite the countless sacrifices I had already made, and continue to make. Yes, that's called being a mother... but that also doesn't mean we should never take into consideration how we are feeling. Because if we don't look after ourselves and our own emotional well-being, it makes taking care of our babies much harder.
Here are some of the 'fun' moments I remember from my breastfeeding journey…
LATCHING ISSUES.
There was no such thing as discreet feeding for me. My first born did not attach well, and I had to use a nipple shield. Fitting those things on, holding your baby, while milk is squirting out everywhere is not easy.
OVER SUPPLY.
Packing for an outing required a bath towel, and a change of clothes – not just for the baby – but for me as well! I was guaranteed to be saturated after a feed. Even with a full-sized towel under my breast!
I remember going to the grocery store – one of my first outings without bub – I had just fed him, I had nursing pads, maternity bra, a singlet and a shirt on, drove there, picked up the handful of things I needed, (which was probably more nursing pads!) and by the time I got to the checkout, my boobs had leaked everywhere and the entire front of my shirt was saturated. I was gone for less than an hour.
I could stick that pump on good old mighty righty and express 2 bottles full in a matter of minutes, but ¾ of it was foremilk. It is no wonder my babies would constantly pull off, choking in milk. And I could only hope the milk that squirted out when they did pull off didn’t hit innocent bystanders!
I received so much advice about how to manage it all, express before you feed, express in between feeds, hot washers, cold washers, block feed, I could go on.... I tried it all. Nothing helped.
MASTITIS.
I was hospitalised with mastitis with my second bub. Excruciating pain, flu-like aches and chills, feeling liking you want to vomit, and having to continue to feed and care for your baby.
CLUSTER FEEDING.
Honestly, who has time to sit on the couch for 6 hours of an evening breasfeeding while you have a toddler running loose around the house (or jumping all over you mid-feed).
I guess my point is…. we shouldn’t be romanticising something that isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be downright hard. And portraying it any other way to first time Mothers is setting them up to feel like a failure, that they are doing something wrong.
It wasn't a particularly joyful experience for me. And yet I have friends who breastfed for years and they loved it. That's the thing... everyone's breastfeeding journey is different.
Breastfeeding might be the preferred way to feed your baby… but sometimes it doesn’t work out for a multitude of reasons. And that’s OK.
I am all for celebrating decisions that are best for both mum and baby. Sometimes that is breast, sometimes it’s the bottle, sometimes it’s both.
Feed your baby in whatever way works for you. Fed is best. Let’s support every mother, however we choose to feed our babies.